Guilt

Guilt... Is all guilt that we feel good? Let me explain!

Ever since I have had kids, I have stuggled with guilt. At first it was when Noah was a baby. He would cry and I would think "why is he crying? what am I doing wrong?" As the responsibilities have increased and life has become more busy guilt has raised it's head in other areas. When I am trying to get dinner on and Noah wants a boook read to him and georgia wants to be held, I would feel guilty that I had other things to do. When Joe comes home and the house is not in order and I look like a "stay at home mom" :) I felt guilty. When I would walk by my laundry basket and it is OVERFLOWING I would feel guilty.... The list goes on and on and on. The stresses that come along with running a home, caring for a family, and wanting to do it with excellence it a way that pleases the Lord can be huge!

So one day I had just had it. I hadn't had a shower, I hadn't had my devotions, my house was a mess, and I needed some peace and quiet... so I packed all my kids in the van and drove and drove and drove. It was my prayer closet, the only quiet place available to me. I needed to pray. As I began to pour my heart out to the Lord, I realized every sentence began with "I feel guilty because..." Somewhere in that van ride I realized that the guilt I was experiencing was not coming from the Lord. It was not a guilt over sin. It was a guilt over being a sinner in need of a Saviour. Let me explain. The reason I felt guilty was because I could not do it all perfectly. Why couldn't I run my home perfectly?? Because I am a sinner. I have been affected by the fall! This is why the Lord has come, to show me my sin and to save me!!! My inadequaciy's are actually a wonderful picture of the gospel. Yes, the Lord wants us to do our best! He tells us "not to be weary in well doing" We should strive to run a home with excellence. we should strive to be like Christ in our marriages and in all other relationships. But if we are truly doing our best and not being slothful, we can look to the Lord in the midst of the chaos and praise Him for redeeming us! Some days, my days I am able to have devotions with my Bible, some days my devotions end up being listening to a great sermon in the van, having a prayer time with the kids on the couch, or praying in the shower. The LOrd knows the season of life we are in. Yes, we should set our goals high but if we are doing our best for the Lord and we don't meet those goals, we should not feel guilty!

God tells us in Genesis 3:1 that satan was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. If we are feeling guilty over something that is not sinful, then it is an unhealthy guilt. So I share all this just to say, once the Lord showed me that a lot of the guilt I was feeling what not coming from Him, I have been able to have a good day even though my circumstances are difficult.